My daughters departed early yesterday morning to travel back to visit friends and boyfriends, before jobs and college classes beckon them back to the real world. It's a drag for our 4-person family to be living in 3 different states . . . sigh.
But my "blue" mood has lifted today and I'm ready to tackle tolerations. I always feel motivated to free up energy for the New Year after Christmas passes. There's something about putting up a new calendar that kicks me into gear to clean up my life and its messes.
Nine years ago when I went into training to become a life coach, I was required to do some accelerated personal development. Part of that was to identify and remove 100 tolerations in my life. That exercise was the most extraordinary one I've ever done in terms of how good I felt afterward, and how effective I became. Since then I've become much more sensitive to what I tolerate and am less willing to tolerate stuff for very long.
Tolerations are things that we put up with that drain us of energy. Like an often-used drawer that sticks, or a light bulb that goes out that you haven't replaced, or a needy friend who sucks you dry. Tolerations can relate to things or relationships, both personal and professional. Some tolerations can be eliminated immediately, through action, or by throwing money at it. Others take much longer to work through, like a boss who puts you down, or a child who is difficult to be around.
Here's my current list of things that have been nagging at me, some for several months or more:
- Take my husband's car in to get the bumper painted (done yesterday)
- Take my car in to the muffler place to see why it sounds loud when I drive it (done today after a rusty flange was replaced). Now my car drives quietly! Why didn't I do this last year?
- Get dryer fixed after it died 2 days ago ( a huge toleration!). Repairman coming today
- Get burner on stove fixed (It's been out for a year!). Repairman coming today
- Replace burnt out bulb on range hood so I can see better when I cook (purchase several replacement bulbs tomorrow)
- Get stepladder out and ask hubbie to change a light bulb in the 9-foot ceiling of my office closet (To be done this week)
- Back up computer again (to be done this week)
- Sign up for Spam Arrest to deal with the horrendous glut of trash in my in-box. I vow to do it this week - this is a HUGE toleration.
- Get hubbie to sign up for direct deposit at work to save me time and aggravation by eliminating trips to the bank. I have been nagging him for 2 months. Deadline - this week!
You know how good it feels to take off tight shoes and replace them with comfy slippers? You relax and feel freer. You're not fixated on your tight shoes and hurting feet any longer. You can focus on something else. Eliminating tolerations has a similar effect, in freeing up your energy and making things easier for you, while increasing your confidence and effectiveness.
Thomas Leonard, the father of the Coaching profession, came up with a program to eliminate tolerations. By clicking on this link, you can open up a PDF file that takes you through this exercise. It's an excellent resource.
It's not important or necessary to eliminate every toleration you are experiencing. It IS essential that you begin. So do it today!