Christmas morning found me reading a Christmas card my husband of 31 years gave me. As tears rolled down my cheeks, one of my daughters looked at me quizzically. I told her I was having a "Hallmark" moment. My heart spoke through my tears, silencing any need for words. I felt overwhelmed with love.
One week later and it's New Years Day morning. I'm sobbing. I feel wretched emotionally (and it's not due to any wild parties the night before!). I don't know why I'm crying, but I just can't seem to stop. Of course my head butts in and tells me I must get to the bottom of this. I attempt to journal, but the more I write, the more I cry. I give it up. I tell my husband I'm not doing very well. I cry, talk, blow my nose, cry, talk, and blow my nose some more. He holds my hand and listens.
A few weeks ago I learned from an Abraham-Hicks CD that tears of any kind (sad, happy, etc.) signal a release of resistance. Certainly that morning my tears released many things - sadness, fear, disappointment. That is a good thing, even though I felt fragile and vulnerable all day. Along with my husband, we spent time in nurturing activities. The weather was beautiful and warm, so we went walking at a downtown park and gazed at the waterfalls there. On the way home we stopped for chocolate raspberry truffle ice cream cones. Later we grilled filet mignon on our deck and drank a bottle of wine, then watched a movie we had rented.
I felt tired, but it was a good kind of tired. Shedding tears brought emotional issues up to the light of day and lessened their power. Eventually I felt cleansed and restored. Since then I have felt more like myself on every level. Puffy eyes is a small price to pay for restoring my equilibrium!
Hindsight tells me that in order to stay strong, I need to be willing to be vulnerable. Chris Bailey describes this in more detail in his blog post, "It's Good to Get Sick Sometimes." Chris defines his personal philosophy in yin/yang terms - that "to know one thing, we must know it's opposite."
Tears can be the heart's way of getting through when our head is clueless. When that happens, let the tears roll, and lubricate yourself to a new sense of well-being.
how right, debbie. i have discovered this power of tears since last 4-5 years - after having dam(m/n)ed them for more than 35 years (very male-ish).
and once i allowed myself to be ridiculous, weak and vulnerable - lot of times in front of people - it has shown more of its magic.
i have now experienced that shedding tears in someone else's pain somehow heals the other person - their heart, your eyes.
Posted by: biren shah | January 06, 2006 at 02:47 AM
Biren - it seems to take many of us a long time to realize that being authentic, as you describe, is not just good for us, but connects us in deeper ways to others. Thanks for sharing this part of your journey and what you are learning.
Posted by: Deb Call | January 09, 2006 at 11:44 AM