The first clue shows up without any recognition on my part that morning. A fellow real estate investor, a fan of my writing, hands me a book before a networking meeting begins. She proclaims that I could be making a lot of money through my writing and that this book will blow me away.
The next clue shows up that evening when I clean my bedroom closet and find a file full of intuitive readings from the past few years. I glance at it and put it back on the shelf.
The third clue, which forces me to see a pattern of dots to connect, happens when my guides wake me up from a sound sleep, literally and figuratively, leading me back to the bedroom closet to the file of readings.
Allow me to lay some down some context. A blog post has been forming in my head for the past two days. It's mid-evening and I plan to devote some time to begin writing this. I fall into a typical pattern of procrastination. The blog post idea feels too "personal." I tell myself that I really can't capture my feelings well enough in this post. My inner critic refuses to pass muster on this topic.
Nevertheless, I grab my laptop with determination and set it up on the kitchen table. In the meantime, my daughter calls from Chicago to chat. I finish the call. As I sit down before the computer to begin, the buzzer on the dryer goes off. I take out the load of laundry and fold it.
I return to the kitchen and discover it's already 10:50 p.m. I sigh. I have an early morning breakfast meeting at 7:30 am the next day. I decide to start. I eke out two sentences before turning off the computer. I tell myself that I will complete the post the following day.
I wrap up my bedtime rituals and climb into bed around 11:30 p.m. I'm tired and quickly fall asleep. For some "unknown" reason I awaken, thinking it is morning. As I glance at the clock, it reads 12:30 a.m. I have only been asleep an hour. I lay in bed, my eyes heavy, attempting to fall asleep. Instead my mind becomes more alert.
After 30 minutes of tossing and turning, I decide to get up. I feel drawn to returning to the bedroom closet to retrieve the file of intuitive readings done on me over the past few years (Akashic Record, astrological, etc).
I head into the Great Room and plop down on the sofa. I stretch out my legs and begin skimming through the material. I find myself in awe of how many things discussed in the readings have come to fruition in my life.
Then two messages jump out at me. The first message comes through a journal entry of mine dated 6/16/99:
"I have come to a 'graphic' awareness, recognition, that writing is becoming my lifeblood - my passion - and that writing a book is inevitable." [I did write and publish a book - Tug of Heart - in 2003.]
The second message comes from a reading of my Akashic Record on 4/21/05, during a time when I was experiencing a dissolution of old patterns. The woman doing the reading told me this:
"Readers want you to be personal - this is the right path. It is stretching you to go public. Your writing is to do with what is going on with you." She adds that I'm still critical of this - of how my writing 'should' look. By the way, this reading predates, by a few months, the start of my blog (Oct.'05).
It's now almost 3:00 a.m. I connect the dots. I knew the message all along. I just ignored it. I am to write, "in spite of." I am to write what I live. I must nurture and cherish the gift of writing I've been blessed with. And last of all, if I want to get a good night's sleep I gotta pay attention to my inner messages during the day!
[Photo Credit - Lars Sundstrom]