What I see and experience in life depends upon the speed at which I'm moving. There's "future" speed, and then there's "present" speed.
Too often than I care to admit, I operate in "future" speed. Maybe you know what I'm talking about. When I leave the present, I splinter myself apart. Here's how it happens: My mind races ahead to the future, while my physical body is left behind, and my spirit hovers about, outside of my awareness.
As I am doing one task, my mind trolls ahead like a search engine, thinking of all the things I have to do beyond this task ('gotta get this done, and then gotta do that, and then . . ."). Or I jump into the future with "what if" thinking, pulling in needless worry and fears about things that may or may not happen (what if my husband loses his job . . . what if my younger daughter does not find work when she moves to Chicago this summer, what if . . .).
Meanwhile my body starts to feel less grounded. Instead of feeling a sense of rootedness, I feel tethered by adrenaline and sensations of being rushed. My sense of creativity and mental expansion become pinched off as my access to intuitive guidance diminishes. Been there, done that, right? Welcome to life in the speed lane of Western Civilization.
This past week something different happens to me. I experience a sense of "high definition" in my life. All around me colors stand out with greater vividness. I notice shapes and patterns - from the clouds in the sky above, to how the ground lays below. Instead of scanning familiar objects in the landscape, I view them with that extra edge of sharpness and clarity, like our television screen in high definition.
My mind, body, and spirit work in tandem. I am not feeling splintered or adrenalined. What's different? I'm moving in the present moment. Nothing in my external environment has changed. I've changed. I am self-observant. I move physically and mentally with deliberation. I'm aware of what I'm thinking and what my body is communicating. My access to creativity is just a deep breath away.
My day to day work-related activities and challenges remain the same, but how I feel about them changes. I feel calm, unpressured, and quietly confident. Ideas come as I need them. I take Friday off and play because I've finished everything important that needs to be done.
I don't recall consciously deciding at first to live in the "present." But as I go back and piece this together I recall that I worked out of my home office Monday. The pace of that day feels manageable. I enjoy the feeling of ease and focus when I stay in present mode. From that point on I decide to carry this forward into my week ahead. I manage to live in the present more than I live in the future.
Benefits? Less worry and fear - they simply cannot get the same foothold in my life to grow. What does grow in its place is a delicious sense of appreciation that comes with laser clarity. And of course it plain feels good to have my body, mind, and spirit all in the same place at the same time. I believe they call that "alignment" in personal development lingo.
The benefits continue. I also receive a couple of insights from Higher Guidance this weekend. The first insight addresses the fear I articulated earlier in this post - "What if my younger daughter can't find a job when she moves to Chicago this summer?" The second insight has to do with appreciation and allowing.
In the first insight, I receive a reassuring message in a dream Saturday morning just before I wake up. In the dream my daughter tells me that when she graduated from college last June, she felt overwhelmed and disorganized. But now daughter tells me that she has created a system that keeps her motivated and focused each day. As a result, ideas flow to her endlessly and she feels very positive and confident. I recall waking up from this dream feeling light and wonderful. The dream's message can be taken on several levels - it can be more about me than her. But the message I need to hear as a mother is that I can trust, and practice letting go some more. Daughter will survive and thrive!
In the second insight I pick up a nuance about appreciation I hadn't noticed before. The more I appreciate, and revel in what I am appreciating, the more expansive and rich I feel. It's my way of giving myself permission to allow riches in my life. Appreciating helps me practice allowing. Appreciation moves me from acting as the beggar daughter to remembering I am the rich daughter of the Almighty Creator. Quite a distinction!
What have you learned about your life in either the speed lane, or "high definition" lane?
[Photo Credit: Kriss Szkurlatowski]