What Birthdays Remind Me Of

Lately I have been taken down by my inner critic.  I harbor feelings of self-loathing.  I wonder at times why I do what I do, and say what I say.  The inner turmoil saps my energy.

In this space of feeling frustrated with myself, my birthday arrives yesterday.  From the moment I get up in the morning, til I fall asleep at night, I am graced and lifted up by others.  Some have known me for years, like old friends, and others for a few months.  Some I have never met in person.

The birthday greetings come in person, by snail mail, email, voicemail, by "live" phone, by text, and most popular, by Facebook.  Each sentiment gently flows over me, taking with it bits and pieces of my self-loathing.  The greetings remind me to appreciate myself amidst my flaws and imperfections. 

Being acknowledged for who I am, on the day celebrating my entry into this life, far surpasses any material gift I can receive.  My heartfelt thanks to all of you who took the time to remind me, on my birthday, that I matter.  And that self-appreciation is in order for all of us who believe we are part of God's creation.

In this "crazy" world of ours, amidst the "Left" talk and the "Right" talk, the Tea Baggers and the Tree Huggers, we are bigger than ideology.  Birthdays help us connect at the heart level.  Which is why my right winger brother sends his liberal sister a card on her birthday and calls her up.

Most of all, birthdays remind me to open my arms and receive.  Last Sunday at church the homilist shared a scriptural quote that leaves me in awe:

Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom.

- Luke 12:32

May I remember to open my arms and say "yes!" 

[Photo Credit:  Ariel da Silva Parreira]

Comments

[Debra Estep]

Hey Deb,

Well... this is belated but no less sincere... HAPPY BIRTHDAY. :)

In reading your first line, I was thinking of something to write to you.
There was a specific thing I wanted to share with you. It was about calling back
your energy at night and being at peace with yourself as you go to sleep.
I got to thinking, if you are feeling or hearing your 'inner critic', you must take
it with you into the night and the next day too. Ewwwwwwwww not good.

So I search my own blog on these words - calling back your energy.

I DID not come to something specific of my own, but low and behold, I came to
an awesome post you wrote near the start of this year.

Do the words .... 'EASE and SAVOR' ring a bell ? OMG - Deb, I think you need
to post these 2 words all over your house. On the frig, near your computer,
a post it note on the bathroom mirror.

I do love how you ended this post. Say YES !!!!

Wayne Dyer has a thing were he says the YES word about 3 times.
YES - YES - YES !!!! Such an uplifting word.

Ohhhhhh by the way, so you don't have to hunt on your own site.

Here is a link to your January post. wink wink

http://movingspirit.typepad.com/spirit_in_gear/2009/01/try-this-in-lieu-of-resolutions.html

XO XO
Deb

[Deb Call]

Deb - what a blessing you are! You are so right - I ought to post the words "savor" and ease everywhere! Thanks for helping me to circle back to ME -and re-reading the old post was fun and helpful. Love to you.

[Debra Estep]

Thanks Deb !! The inner critic can be a nasty bugger that needs to be put
in it's place. Make CERTAIN you are balancing the criticism with ~ INNER PRAISE.
That's a novel idea, huh ? To speak to ourselves of our good qualities. LOL