Spirit In Gear

Faces of Change

Liz Strauss' Change post captures the opposing faces of change:  "Change is a way of life.  It's a way of staying alive." vs. "Change makes me weary and takes my feet off the ground."

Liz's post articulates my own ambivalence with change.  Forget change for change's sake.  That takes so much energy.  Oftentimes I need a compelling reason to make a change.  And the latest innovation in technology isn't it (I'm still mastering the old).

You've probably had this experience - you've thought about making a change, but procrastinate until some condition turns the tide for you. And voila - you make the change!

My 1-year blog anniversary lit a fire under me and prompted me to finally get my butt in gear (the spirit can't do it all!).  You've probably noticed the new picture of moi.  I took down the professional shot taken 3 years ago.  What you see now is a candid shot taken this summer, minus my husband who was cropped out. I stopped waiting for the "perfect" candid photo to show up.

I also overhauled the about me page, throwing stuff out left and right.  That felt as good as cleaning out my clothes closet, getting rid of things that no longer suited me.  These are just a few of the changes I've wanted to make for months, but just didn't "get around to it."  More still to come on the blog.

On the other hand, there are times I just don't want to budge.  Like when I find a hairstyle I like, I'll keep it for several years.  Or when a room is arranged to my liking, I rarely change it, other than to add or rearrange an accessory.  Last year Clinique discontinued making the best foundation I've ever worn.  I reacted by going to several department stores to buy up any remaining supplies.  Now I'm down to my last bottle and I'm peeved that I have to find something else.

In contrast, we can look around and see others who are walking posters for change, like Troy Worman, who redesigns the look of his Orbit Now blog with regular frequency.  I admire both his "redo's," and the energy that takes but can't imagine that for myself.

It may have to do with my age.  My child-rearing years are behind me, and with it that long span of continual change.  It feels good to coast when I can.

I've made some huge changes in the last couple of years, and a 360 degree change professionally this year, all by choice.  To date, these changes are working out, but not without some upheaval and temporary distress. 

Changes we don't seek out, that are thrust on us, like my husband's 5-month period of unemployment earlier this year, can prove more stressful.  That change has brought some welcome trade-offs, but the financial recovery will take longer.

Change is a tricky element.  I say I want to take it easy and coast.  But sometimes I want dramatic change because I'm READY for it.  Like when I went to my hairdresser 10 years ago and asked for a totally different look and got it!  Or when I woke up one day in 1996 and said it's time to leave my 20 year social work career.  Or even yesterday when I "saw" my dining room furniture arrangement in a whole new light, to change the look and functionality.

In hindsight, I can see that timing plays a big part in motivating me towards change.  That and remembering to listen to the inner voice that has served me well.  So that past experience encourages me to trust what I hear now.

My guess is that some people are programmed in the DNA to seek out continual change.  How about you?  What kind of change threshold do you have?

What This Yankee is Learning From Living in the South

It happened again over the weekend, while in Chicago.  Here's the pattern.  In my various travels this year, I have been asked where I'm from.  I hesitate to say I'm from South Carolina.  After 2+ years here, it still doesn't roll off my tongue.  Nor does the accent.

There's more behind this pause.  This liberal, Democratic, feminist Catholic Yankee hasn't quite reconciled the irony of landing in a place whose persuasions are markedly different.  Or are they?

Here's what I'm learning as I ruminate about living in South Carolina:

- I've experienced a genteel quality to the politeness down here.  I'm starting to get used to being "yes, maam'ed" by men, young and old.  I appreciate the folksy openness and find it warmer and more connecting than the reserved friendliness of the Midwest where I'm from.  Southerners excel at engaging with others.

- People I've labeled the "good old Southern boys" have surprised me with their openness to change.  For example, our neighborhood became involved in a rezoning battle with County Council over development plans run amok.  With organization, a massive email campaign, and sitting through tedious council meetings (democracy isn't convenient!), these good old boys changed their minds and voted for our side.

- Most of us associate wide open spaces with the Western states.  Because South Carolina only has 3 major metropolitan areas (Greenville, Columbia, and Charleston), small towns dot the rest of the state, leaving lots of country in between.  I find great joy in seeing so much undeveloped country around me.  Driving the last 1/2 mile to our home, you see horses grazing on one side, and cows on the other.  In the development across the road from us lay 5 acre homes, many with horse farms.  I appreciate this tranquil respite of nature.  Yet we are only 5 minutes away from the grocery, video, drug stores, and gas stations, giving us the best of both worlds.

- For the first time in my life, I don't hate the month of January.  Here in South Carolina the sun shines throughout the winter.  Not only do we enjoy mild winter temperatures, but we are not depressed by the 3-month gray haze of Ohio winters.

- Not unlike any other state in the Union, South Carolina has its hall of shame.  It's impossible to ignore the state's having the lowest rate of high school graduation in the nation, or one of the highest rates of domestic violence.  Local press devotes much space to the educational issue. 

If past experience can predict the future, Greenville has the potential to influence these stats, at least in the Upstate area.  Twenty years ago the business and leadership community created a compelling vision that transformed downtown and attracted major businesses to the area.  Where you once found a shabby downtown where drug dealers and prostitutes openly did business, you now find a national award-winning downtown, with vibrant, tree-lined streets dotted with European style outdoor cafes, sophisticated cuisine, theater, and the crowning jewel - Falls Park on the Reedy.  In the past year, leaders began work on a compelling vision for the next 20 years.  Without vision, it's hard to move forward.  My stomping ground of 30 years, Cincinnati, could learn something from South Carolina, as Cincinnati struggles in stale complacency and conflicted interests.

- One finds a surprising diversity in the Greenville area.  GE, BMW, Michelin, and Harley Davidson create a large presence here, and are responsible for much of the diversity, with many transplants, not only from all over the US, but from all over the world.  It goes without saying that this area is the engineering capital of the country!

- Even as a young child, I loved the sound of Southern accents.  I'm starting to learn to distinguish the Georgia accents from the South Carolinians, and to detect a different quality of those from North Carolina, and Tennessee.  Southern drawl it is, and the speaking is slower.  Not a bad thing, in my mind.  I'm tired of fast-talking.

- South Carolina has no pro football, so college football rules here.  Everyone should experience Clemson fervor at least once, as we did, when we attended a game.  Their fans rival the ardent fans of my team, the Ohio State Buckeyes.  Bless the local souls - there are so many Buckeye fans down here that an area sports bar devotes the largest room in their facility to OSU fans, and if you want a seat you must get there an hour before the game airs.  The local collegiate store also sells OSU flags, shirts and sweatshirts, amidst the Clemson, Georgia, and University of South Carolina gear.

Ruminating in this post has helped me realize that we can gain from experiencing other parts of the country, and the cultures embodied there.  I'm moving through preconceived ideas, and facts about South Carolina, to acknowledge the inherent qualities here that have inspired my spirit to be lighter, more joyful, and more grateful.  I'm still working on the "relaxed." 

And some things I will never give up - like being a raving Buckeye fan, or get used to, like sweetened iced tea.