Spirit In Gear

Getting My Energetic Groove Back

Thank you, Tom Volkar, for your compelling post, Get Real About Your Work. 

Tom's post came out in perfect response to my own need a couple of weeks ago.  It sure does illustrate the impact we can have on one another through writing, as well as the underlying synchronicity that can occur through the medium of the Internet. 

Rather than summarize Tom's post, I urge you to read it and to take the 4-minute written exercise that helps you uncover the real truth about your work when money is no longer an issue.

Now allow me to back up to tell you where I lost my groove and how I got it back, thanks in part to reading Tom's post.

Ironically, a positive change in my business created the conundrum.  It begins when my business partner and I make the decision to get an outside office to work out of (in addition to our respective home offices).  With the addition of an assistant, we find great benefit in working more cohesively in the same physical space.

Three plus months later, we are reaping tangible benefits from the outside office.  We are developing processes and systems to work smarter; we are making far more offers on real estate; we have increased our income; and we enjoy great camaraderie.

So what's the downside to positive change?  I'm hauling my laptop and a number of essential files back and forth between home and the outside office.  I figure I'm losing an hour in the packing and commuting each day.  I've given up a great deal of flexibility and autonomy.  I begin to feel like I'm going to a "job."  The office is an environment laced with adrenaline and constant interruption.  After several weeks of this I find myself exhausted each day.  I fall behind on stuff at home.  And by the time I could blog later in the evening, I'm simply too spent.  I have shot my wad of energy.  Creative expression?  What's that?

As I note what my body and heart are telling me, I realize that the outside office is not the problem per se.  HOW I am working is a problem.  In a flash, I get it.  (When I did Tom's exercise, I discover that if money were no longer an issue, I'd write a whole lot more, and I wouldn't necessarily stop doing my day job.  I'd just do it differently.)

A pleasant shock of physical relief surges through me. A solution presents itself and I implement it immediately.  I make the decision to come into the office on Monday/Wednesday, and part of Friday as needed.  Tuesday and Thursday I work from home, by phone and laptop, In addition, I will go out to any seller's home on any day of the week if we have a deal.  But I don't need to sit in an outside office to wait for my phone to ring.

As soon as I implement this, I stop feeling tired.  I hadn't realized how much inner resistance I experienced each day on an unconscious basis.  Once I get aligned by changing  how I work, I almost feel giddy.  Doesn't take much for me to feel light and joyful once I get aligned. 

This is a lesson to me in the art and care of my creative being.  That part of me is especially happy.  I can only imagine the positive ripples that will continue to flow out, not only to other areas of my life and business, but further and further into the world.  Abraham notes that our purpose in life is to feel good.  And let's get real.  It's a lot more fun to hang out with people who feel good, isn't it? 

  

What I've Been Doing in Lieu of Blogging

I just set the timer for 20 minutes - that's what I'm alotting to write this post. 

I've been gathering items to write about and filing them away.  I've moved way beyond guilt over not writing.  I'm in overwhelm and work fatigue.

What can I say? I'm trying to find my way back into the blogging groove.  It requires a system change.  I had an epiphany moment today about how to change my work structure to give me back my old freedom and flexibility so that I'm not worn out and tired at the end of the day.  I'm going to spend more time in my home office and less time in the outside office with my other business partners.  The comraderie is great but not my productivity, or flexibility with time and structure. 

Poignant once in a lifetime moments have also been taking precedence over blogging.  Two weekends ago we went back to Ohio to visit family - had special moments with my 86 yr.old aunt (sister of my deceased mom); we went to see our senior college daughter's visual thesis and met her Graphic Design professors.  I glowed all the way back to South Carolina reliving the moment when our daughter's class of senior graphic design students voted our daughter most likely to change the world with one design. 

This past weekend we spent in Gatlinburg (3 hrs away) with old friends, laughing and listening to the sounds of music from the 70's.  It felt good to be with a liberal crowd.

This weekend we head back to Ohio for the college graduation.  I already feel emotional about it.  Four years ago our younger daughter graduated from high school.  We sold the family home, moved to South Carolina for a job transfer, and left our daughter back in Ohio.  She grew up fast.  And the four years flew by.  This is the milestone time - not just for our daughter, but for us as parents.  We're moving into a different phase of parenting - enjoying the flight of our children, but I feel sad about that too.  More change for poor old Mom.  And on that note, the timer just went off.

Seizing Greatness - Follow-Up Post

Two weeks ago I wrote a brief post on an exercise around "seizing our greatness" that intrigued and further awakened me.   You'll find the actual exercise at Delightful Work.

Since then, thoughts on this topic continue to swirl around in my mind.  It's time to rope them in and expand the conversation.  As a starting point, I'll share the 5 answers we were asked to give to the question in this timed exercise:

"What could I become or do that would sprout a definite seed to my certain greatness?"

1.  Spend more time in the space of well-being, as I did this past weekend.  Everything, even chores, felt blissful.  All because I managed my energy first and found that alignment.

2.  I don't have to improve on my greatness - just offer it up on a daily basis - share my thoughts, ideas, inspiration, support, and love - every day - at home, in my business, my volunteer work, and through blogging.

3.  Say what I want.  Ask for it!  Modesty be damned!

4.  Spend money on myself.  A couple of weeks ago I got a manicure (my first in about a year), and it made me feel special. I want to do more of that kind of thing.  Experiencing the full range of abundance directly connects me to my greatness.

5.  Set up my life so I deal with less trivia and time-wasters, both people and things, by creating boundaries around who and what takes up my time.

Talking about individual "greatness" isn't something I grew up with in the '50's or 60's.  "Great" was a word reserved for unusual people in the history books, or for situations that seem removed from normal living.  We didn't want to appear to be boastful, after all.  Modesty became something to cultivate.

The personal development/human potential movements expand both the context for, and the concept of greatness.  We've come to understand that each individual carries a unique genius, a set of blueprints for greatness.  In that respect, we each hold the responsibility for developing the "seeds of greatness" we are born with.

Author Eckhart Tolle points out, in his latest book, A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life's Purpose, that our level of consciousness determines our level of flowering:

"You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you, and allowing that goodness to emerge.  But it can only emerge if something fundamental changes in your state of consciousness."

I like Slade's condensed version:  "You are God. Act like it!"

Some days I get it, and other days I forget it.  Apparently being "naturally" great is not my default setting.  Or maybe I just think it's not.  I have a lot more practice at seeing the greatness in others, while downplaying my own.  Today's Note from the Universe "chided" me:  "And please don't ever let self-consciousness keep you from stepping out into a world that would be unimaginably incomplete without you."

So throw your 2 cents in here.  Whatcha think about greatness?  Is it overrated?  Underrated?  Irrelevant?  What has been your experience?  Let's learn from one another.  Tell us how you REALLY feel!

Astonish Yourself - Try This Exercise

A friend referred me to Tom Volkar's blog, Delightful Work.  There I found a post designed to shake you up - Seize Your Greatness!  Perhaps like me you are thinking that you don't want to read yet another article on embracing one's greatness.  Like I did, just ignore that inner thought and read it, AND more importantly, step up and do the "brutal" exercise at the end of the post. 

I did the exercise and managed to astonish myself.  Rather than say anything more, may I encourage you on your merry way to Seize Your Greatness!  I see from the comments left at this post that some of my visitors, like Slade and Andrea have already jumped into the dialogue over there.

Life in the Fifties Lane

While "snowed in," I've taken some time blog-hopping to my favorite sites to catch up on a couple of weeks worth of posts. My insides feel warm as I listen in on the thoughts of my online friends.  I imagine I'm up in a balcony looking down at a party, quietly observing and enjoying the conversations going on.

At the same time, I feel like an outsider.  I don't experience that as a negative so much as an awareness that I am in a different place in life.

I look with awe upon people like Liz, Troy, Phil and Rosa for their energetic and prodigious postings and extensive community building; my envy goes to Jory for her ability to speak with powerful transparency, and to Tony Clark for his artistic and resonant style that speaks to many.  I feel tickled by Kammie's energy and touched by Kirsten's affirmations, and cheered by Starbucker.  I feel a kinship with Rick and Dick because we share similar life philosophies, perhaps because we're closer in age.  And Halina, I take great comfort from her soulful wisdom.  These are only a small sample of the many wondrous bloggers I read.

What I am understanding is that we each need to be who we are, where we are.  Today I am not the same person I was in my 20's and 30's.  Nor do I have the same body - darn!!  I still have a lot of energy but desire to direct it differently.

So much of my energy during my 20's and 30's and even 40's focused on proving myself, and being there for others. Today, in my 50's I am learning to get into step with my own "timing" and to be there for me. It's having a sense of checking in with myself before I accept an external "rule."  Sometimes that means I blog frequently, and at other times I don't.  (Dick Richards also discusses blog pauses.)  It's taking the time to separate out the nagging pressure of ego-shoulds with what fits me instead.  It doesn't feel easy yet, nor have I stopped comparing myself to others.

I'm enjoying my new business, the stimulation it brings, the networking with other investors, the partnerships, the deals we get under contract.  It's almost like a game.  I devote time and focus and energy and money to it.  But I don't take it all so damn seriously like I did my previous careers and businesses.   I'm not chasing after Success with a capital "S."  Been there, done that.  And I predict I'll make more money with this attitude than I've ever made.

I don't have great ambitions to make a huge splash in the blogosphere, or anywhere for that matter.  I'm grateful and happy for all those who do make a big splash in positive ways so that many can benefit. 

Okay, I'll admit there's a part of me that says I'm "supposed to" care about that stuff and play "bigger."  But it feels rather hackneyed.  While I've been involved in personal development all my adult life, the buzz words don't motivate me anymore.  Now, from the perspective of middle age, it's the time I have with the people that matter - people like family, daughters, friends that take paramount importance in my life. 

I don't crave more information from outside, tempting as that is for me.  Instead, I strive to hear my own voice, and connect to others from that place.  As Alexys says in her post The Right to Fly, "Blogging is a clearinghouse of thoughts.  Thoughts that may go unheard if they don't have an outlet."  No matter my age, I still need to know that when I put something out there in a post that it lands somewhere.

The 50-something years gift us with wisdom, perspective, and a quiet confidence and assurance that we can tap into.  I've always been a late bloomer.  I still have lots more blooming to do.  The difference - I need to honor my own tempo now and slow down to take in the scenery.  Along the way I'll do my best to remember to trust myself.  That's all I really need to do.  The rest of life will get handled in due time.  And that's all for now from this baby boomer.

Generosity of Spirit

To expand on my previous post on "high-touch," I include below the recently received original article, Generosity of Spirit - Lubricant in Successful Business Relationships, written by the same author, Susan Smyth.  In this article, Susan examines the beliefs that push us to win or withhold in the workplace, and cites real time business examples that interject high-touch with those that don't.

"We live in a high-tech, high-touch world.  Tom Friedman of the New York Times says the world has been flattened by a cross-current of economic, social and political forces.  It means our call centers are staffed by people in India and we buy our consumer goods on the Internet and expect them to arrive in a day or two.  We bank online instead of at the corner bank.  Lots of services have been transformed into commodities.  We experience the high-tech, but where is the high-touch in all of this?

In a high-tech flattened world, impersonality has become the norm.  As a result, many seek the human touch wherever we can find it.  Relationship selling tells us people buy from or deal with people, not organizations.   We can make a difference in how we behave in our relationships.  I've come to call the special ingredient I seek in my professional relationships "generosity of spirit."

Where's the High Touch?

On the high altar of technology, where does "high touch" come in?  Or does it?

As computers become faster and iPods become smaller, the art of the personal touch catches short shrift.  American work cultures still tend to the bottom line at the expense of the lives of workers.  There's enough data out there to substantiate such effects upon productivity and worker morale.

A respected friend/colleague, Susan Smyth, from my coaching years in Cincinnati, takes this position:

"In a society in which impersonality and self-centeredness are now so common, I often wish that I could convince more of the people in the organizations with which I consult, that showing their hearts and applying the human touch can provide a huge boost to work relationships, to performance, and to customer satisfaction."

I lifted these words from a well-written article Susan wrote in the Dec. issue of her organization's newsletter.  You can read the full article, Holiday Spirit:  A Major boost to Performance All Year Long, when you scroll to page 7.  I smiled and silently cheered when I read Susan's words- YES, YES!  The word has gone out - we have hearts and we gotta show we got 'em!

Susan describes how unexpected kindness, caring, and thoughtfulness (typically uncommon in the workplace) can have powerful positive effects.  She concludes her article with 3 simple ideas we as individuals can use to bring this high touch spirit into the world.  Susan Smyth, by the way, is Director of Consulting Services for METS (Metropolitan Education and Training Services) in N. Kentucky.

My daughters (21 & 24) can run circles around me when it comes to technology, but I have taught them from pre-school years to write thank you notes for every gift they receive - birthday, Christmas, graduation etc.  They have done this task reluctantly for many years, but acknowledging gifts with a written note has finally become a habit they do with greater ease.  One small step for a kinder, gentler world I say.

When Motivation Becomes a Lousy Substitute for Living

Rebecca Thomas inspired this topic when she wrote a post on her struggles with self-motivation over at 100bloggers recently.  Her candor prompted several comments, including one I left.

I realized that there is a lot more I want to say about motivation than I allowed in my posted comment.  In mulling my thoughts over, more questions surface.  Here goes:

When we are really in sync with ourselves, who needs motivation?  It becomes rather superfluous, wouldn't you say?  Likewise, when our desire outweighs our resistance, motivation becomes a non-issue.

When I need "motivation," I'm attempting to do something I don't want to do, like cleaning my bathroom, or doing administrative tasks.  Motivation comes from my head to prod what my body and heart DON'T WANT to do.  I say, the fewer the motivation sticks we have to endure, the better for healthy, joyful living.  [Note to myself - pay someone to do this!]

Sometimes we are called to stand up to motivation and kill the beast.  Maybe that is what Rebecca's response to the post comments imply:  "Right now, I'm not motivated to do the things I absolutely love, which is why I'm so concerned."

"Killing the beast" acknowledges that it's time to get off the motivation merry-go-round.  Sit still, take stock.  Quit pushing.  Peek under the symptoms.  Be still and let the empty space open up for the hard questions to emerge.  "What have I outgrown?"  "What am I pretending to like?"  "What do I really want instead?"

Most of us have probably found ourselves in the strange holding pattern Rebecca is circling around in.  That place where nothing feels right.  We are out of alignment in some way.  And our head is usually the last to get it. 

When the motivation wind gets knocked out of us, I consider that a wake-up call.  My heart, that inner sense of knowing, has been attempting to reach me and I haven't been listening, or have chosen to ignore what I hear.

Last month my car, "Betsy," was involved in a minor fender bender.  It didn't look like much damage on the outside, but the innards got knocked around a lot.  New body parts needed to be fit in with the old, and the process didn't go quickly.

The same car analogy captures the challenging process we can find ourselves in when our motivation skips town.   It may be that something no longer works for us, or fits us.  Acknowledging that can feel scary and disruptive.  It may involve changing part of our identity, or thought patterns, or ways of doing things. 

If we trust and stay brave in our shaking boots, wisdom will eventually guide us to the necessary change.  We must be patient and compassionate with ourselves - integrating that change requires some shifting and juggling to take place before that smooth alignment emerges, taking us back into the land of the living.

In my middle years, motivation bores me.  I don't like the word.  It conjures up the "carrot-stick" mentality.  It's the head's way of thinking it knows best.  NOT.  I will give motivation its due.  It acts as a gauge, alerting us to symptoms to attend to when it runs low. 

But let's not confuse motivation with inspired living.

When Less is More

There's something counter-intuitive about the notion of less being more.  It sounds illogical, but actually works under certain circumstances.  Hope you can stop by 100Bloggers to read my post on this topic.  I'd love to have you join in the discussion about when less is more for you!

Where, Oh Where, Has My Balance Gone?

Today isn't turning out quite as I planned.  After completing some necessary weekend housework, I had earmarked some creative time for writing and blogging as my reward.

I assumed I'd be happily ensconced in my home office by late morning.  Instead it's almost 2:30 pm and I'm procrastinating.  Yes, I did go into my office late this morning.  I fooled around doing email, then made some personal phone calls.  Pretty soon it was time for lunch, and then I checked our snail mail.

Okay, now I'm feeling sheepish, and disappointed with myself.  I've been wanting, for several days now, to write this post on how I've felt out of balance.  Yet, all of a sudden, I can hear the inner censor distracting me to the point of self-consciousness.  I'm feeling a bit off kilter.  My thoughts appear to have "flown out the window."

BIG SIGH!  Who's in charge here anyway?  Get control, woman, and stop hushing your voice.  Let it (you) speak and the rest will follow.  Or as Wayne Dyer says in his newest book, Inspiration - Your Ultimate Calling, be "in spirit."

But I want to get it "right."  And say all the things in the "right order." 

There's nothing like allowing the ego to smother creativity.  They simply shouldn't be in the same room together!

Okay, here's what I'm learning, in the assumption that you may benefit from these insights too.  I should add that I'm "relearning" these notions, having experienced them in the past, and coached others on them over the years.

I've gotten out of balance due to a combination of factors:

- I'm devoting a ton of time to making a go of my new business directions in real estate investment, and as the momentum increases, so do the demands on my time.  I slipped into over-achieving mode, partly to "make something happen," and partly to prove myself (to me).  For my fellow over-achievers out there, it can feel exhausting.

- My working schedule is less predictable, and has a different rhythm than when I was coaching.  I now get leads called in on the weekends from my classified ad.  Work spills over into personal times.

- The biggest factor - this type of work is almost completely linear, left-brained activity.  I sorely miss using the other part of my brain - the creative, right side.

- I stopped making time to write (out of guilt and fear).  And got pretty cranky and out of sorts as I blogged about in a recent post.

A couple of things have helped.  Talking with my coach and paying attention to my own self-observations have led to making some changes.  I've scheduled a half day each week (sacred!), during the week devoted to writing and other right brained activities I choose.  I will not answer my phone during that time or analyze deals!  I will continue to write on weekends, and when moved during free evenings.

Here's an interesting "something" that just happened.  As I was feeling overwhelmed with real estate stuff, the accounting dept. of our local paper mistakenly shut down my classified ad and stopped running it after Sept. 6th.  I called my rep, and we got it straightened out, but missed the deadline to run it over the weekend.  So it appears the Universe arranged for me to take a breather this weekend!

I've reminded myself that I'm not 35 anymore, and I don't have to prove myself.  For those of you who are in your 30's, you don't have to prove yourself either!  To wit, I intend each day to bring a sense of lightness, and even playfulness to my business efforts.  That helps to keep the achiever from over-doing it.

Unlike other times I have felt out of balance in my life, this is the first time I realize how much I need to engage in activities and experiences that use the whole brain.  More specifically - activities that involve expression of my essential spirit.

When all is said and done, its up to me, and you, to take responsibility for the 24 hours we are blessed with each day.  I can use technology to create appropriate boundaries, as in using voicemail to set limits on my availability, and using a daily planner to allot times for each part of my life, or I can lose sight of what I need, and operate out of fear.

Balance is a fluid commodity.  Always changing, as we do.  I'll keep tweaking it, as I find my way home again.

By the way, my inner censor got bored when I started writing, and she went and sat in the corner and dozed off.  I'm so glad she finds me boring.  Maybe she'll find someone else to censor, or better yet, get into another line of work.